My Dear Daughter I think instead of going directly into employment in such a trying job as nursing you would be better off volunteering to help people in an area in which you are interested. This would allow you to help when you feel up to it but you wouldn't be tied into a shift. If you find an area that you would really like to volunteer in this could possibly build you up to the point where you could work part time. If you really get into it who knows in the long run you might want to work at it fulltime. Start on the shallow end of the pool before you dive off the high board into deep water. This whole process might take years but it would be better than not starting at all. Love Dad
Friday, August 10, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
In Search of Self
Since my last therapy session, I was asked "what could Deborah do to take care of herself?"
There was a long silence because no one had ever asked me nor had I ever given any thought to it. Honestly, it's easier for me to care for others than myself...a trait most nurses often say.
So I sat with that question floating over my head wondering, what could I do to take care of myself. Then came the suggestion I hate the most---"go back to work"
It was then that I realized Jane had no clue what state I was in and how my brain was complete mush. Sure I could handle day to day life, but to actually apply my nursing skills, prioritize, keep patients, Maya, and Miguel in check is overwhelming not to mention exhausting.
Many believe that Fibromyalgia is not a real medical condition and I hope in time people will be more accepting of this autoimmune disease. Not only am I exhausted regardless of vitamin supplements, exercise, acupuncture, etc I do not feel like my old self....mentally and physically.
I was then asked "what is you goal in life?" "what is your dream"
I don't know, it seemed much easier to answer those questions when I was a child because I was so innocent to the world's evil ways. Personally, I feel complacent as my husband also said as to his current state of mind.
Is complacency such an awful crime? I see other people and how ambitious they are, and cannot help but envy their motivation to go 110% at whatever they are doing. Even the employees behind the Starbucks counters seem happier than I.
First of all, I'm not depressed, I am sad, This may sound as an exaggeration to those of you who lead a fairly average life, have healthy coping mechanisms, and have a normal brain, but for those of us who are "a bit off" this is not the case,
At the present time, I have lost much of my vocabulary and my head is all over the place,,,,reason being why I jump from one subject to the next. I feel if I continue to practice and exercise my brain, the creative juices will flow back and I can once again resume a sense of normalcy.
There was a long silence because no one had ever asked me nor had I ever given any thought to it. Honestly, it's easier for me to care for others than myself...a trait most nurses often say.
So I sat with that question floating over my head wondering, what could I do to take care of myself. Then came the suggestion I hate the most---"go back to work"
It was then that I realized Jane had no clue what state I was in and how my brain was complete mush. Sure I could handle day to day life, but to actually apply my nursing skills, prioritize, keep patients, Maya, and Miguel in check is overwhelming not to mention exhausting.
Many believe that Fibromyalgia is not a real medical condition and I hope in time people will be more accepting of this autoimmune disease. Not only am I exhausted regardless of vitamin supplements, exercise, acupuncture, etc I do not feel like my old self....mentally and physically.
I was then asked "what is you goal in life?" "what is your dream"
I don't know, it seemed much easier to answer those questions when I was a child because I was so innocent to the world's evil ways. Personally, I feel complacent as my husband also said as to his current state of mind.
Is complacency such an awful crime? I see other people and how ambitious they are, and cannot help but envy their motivation to go 110% at whatever they are doing. Even the employees behind the Starbucks counters seem happier than I.
First of all, I'm not depressed, I am sad, This may sound as an exaggeration to those of you who lead a fairly average life, have healthy coping mechanisms, and have a normal brain, but for those of us who are "a bit off" this is not the case,
At the present time, I have lost much of my vocabulary and my head is all over the place,,,,reason being why I jump from one subject to the next. I feel if I continue to practice and exercise my brain, the creative juices will flow back and I can once again resume a sense of normalcy.
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