In a few more hours I will journey to Tulgey Woods. I spoke to the Queen of Hearts yesterday, only to be reminded of how much I would rather lazily lay under the tree looking at the butterflies.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum will no doubt be awaiting my arrival, although they are entertaining, sitting listening to nonsense can be quite trying. I am however, looking forward to seeing the mome raths and other creatures of the woods.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Alice quote
Alice
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!
Real Life Alice
Lately my mind has been all over the place, racing from one subject to another, from one daydream to another. Seems as though I cannot clear my head lately. Between pressuring myself to lose weight, write my novel and get through the holidays, I feel like I am swimming through the air with no sense of direction. My dress is over my head and I am free falling watching the chairs, lamps, and tables float above my head in this never-ending tunnel.
For a few years I felt complete, then one day I woke up and felt like I had slammed into the hard checkered floor of the rabbit hole. I drank from the wrong bottle and now I am too tall to fit inside the door. If I ever catch up with the white rabbit, then what? And why am I chasing him in the first place?
Then there is The Queen of Hearts, forever in the way...quite menacing yet I must bow and curtsy with much reluctance or else my head will get chopped off.
Occasionally the Cheshire Cat appears when least expected to help point me in the right direction, however it is not without frustration at trying to decipher his riddles. He smiles then disappears as suddenly as he appears.
I've visited the Mad Hatter and attended his tea party, only to never eat one crumb of cake or drink the tea in the numerous pots chaotically placed on the long table. Enough with switching chairs, I want my permanent place at the table.
For a few years I felt complete, then one day I woke up and felt like I had slammed into the hard checkered floor of the rabbit hole. I drank from the wrong bottle and now I am too tall to fit inside the door. If I ever catch up with the white rabbit, then what? And why am I chasing him in the first place?
Then there is The Queen of Hearts, forever in the way...quite menacing yet I must bow and curtsy with much reluctance or else my head will get chopped off.
Occasionally the Cheshire Cat appears when least expected to help point me in the right direction, however it is not without frustration at trying to decipher his riddles. He smiles then disappears as suddenly as he appears.
I've visited the Mad Hatter and attended his tea party, only to never eat one crumb of cake or drink the tea in the numerous pots chaotically placed on the long table. Enough with switching chairs, I want my permanent place at the table.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
When is high school over?
To you know who:
It has recently been brought to my attention that my fb posts have caused some distress, however, I have never posted anything remotely as horrible as these people have accused me of.
I am not a hypocrite, yes, we have had a difficult past, and yes, there are reasons why I cannot seem to move forward regarding "our relationship" but I would never blatantly post cruel things about you. I can understand if my blog upset you, but I will not apologize for it because I have every right to vent. You have never made me feel completely welcome, and the few times we have been together it seems there was always some complaint about me. Therefore if you have any further problems, please address them to me and we can further discuss it. Do not throw someone we both love in the middle. It's annoying and uncalled for.
I am here and you know how to contact me.
It has recently been brought to my attention that my fb posts have caused some distress, however, I have never posted anything remotely as horrible as these people have accused me of.
I am not a hypocrite, yes, we have had a difficult past, and yes, there are reasons why I cannot seem to move forward regarding "our relationship" but I would never blatantly post cruel things about you. I can understand if my blog upset you, but I will not apologize for it because I have every right to vent. You have never made me feel completely welcome, and the few times we have been together it seems there was always some complaint about me. Therefore if you have any further problems, please address them to me and we can further discuss it. Do not throw someone we both love in the middle. It's annoying and uncalled for.
I am here and you know how to contact me.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
pancakes, preschool, bipolar depression, & civil war wedding
These four words/subjects can basically describe my life right now. In between writing a civil war wedding scene for the next best selling novel to hit bookstores worldwide (my dream) and trying to perfect my pancakes for the most picky eater (my daughter); I am also trying to pull a loved one out of a deep dark depression.
Needless to say, life per usual is exhausting, but there has to be a silver lining....right?
So yesterday I did what any other individual would do in such a circumstance, I cried. I cried till I thought all the tears had run dry, then guess what? More tears ensued.
Looking back at less than 24 hrs ago, I have yet to come up with a plan, other than to "try try try" ---as my daughter Maya told me today when she heard me scream in the kitchen.
I opened the refrigerator door and stared at the numerous boxes of old Chinese food, and plastic containers of leftovers from the week before. I asked Maya what she was talking about and she told me she was referring to a Ni-hao Kailan cartoon she had seen the night before. I simply laughed because it was good advice coming from a 3 1/2 yr old.
Maybe if I start looking at the world through a child's viewpoint then I won't go insane over the life's little quirks.
Needless to say, life per usual is exhausting, but there has to be a silver lining....right?
So yesterday I did what any other individual would do in such a circumstance, I cried. I cried till I thought all the tears had run dry, then guess what? More tears ensued.
Looking back at less than 24 hrs ago, I have yet to come up with a plan, other than to "try try try" ---as my daughter Maya told me today when she heard me scream in the kitchen.
I opened the refrigerator door and stared at the numerous boxes of old Chinese food, and plastic containers of leftovers from the week before. I asked Maya what she was talking about and she told me she was referring to a Ni-hao Kailan cartoon she had seen the night before. I simply laughed because it was good advice coming from a 3 1/2 yr old.
Maybe if I start looking at the world through a child's viewpoint then I won't go insane over the life's little quirks.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Searching for happiness on the web
Today I felt rather "blah"...perhaps it was the holiday pounds that I had packed on, perhaps....
So I decided to search the web for a quick fix to my "ick" mood. Found a pair of Louboutins that I had been watching for over a year at a 1/4 of the original price. Then found a gorgeous pair of Manolo's in a fabulous periwinkle suede on sale. The old Deborah would have clicked on "add to cart" immediately without a second thought, however I knew this would be reckless spending, and these shoes, along with the several other unworn designer shoes would lie dormant in their dustbags in my closet
My attention then turned to dresses (naturally) and I found a breathtaking red dress on topshop.com, and then a stunning pair of red shoes on bloomingdales.com that would compliment the dress perfectly--and could be delivered just in time for my bday (this Friday). I got such a buzz that I ALMOST purchased without hesitation, but then I remembered I have numerous dresses with tags still hanging in my closet. So with much hesitation, I decided not to search much further for happiness through material things.
Instead I looked at old pictures of Maya and my doggy Mykonos, listened to old music, and thought lovingly of my grandparents who are no longer with me, and in doing so, I found happiness....within.
So I decided to search the web for a quick fix to my "ick" mood. Found a pair of Louboutins that I had been watching for over a year at a 1/4 of the original price. Then found a gorgeous pair of Manolo's in a fabulous periwinkle suede on sale. The old Deborah would have clicked on "add to cart" immediately without a second thought, however I knew this would be reckless spending, and these shoes, along with the several other unworn designer shoes would lie dormant in their dustbags in my closet
My attention then turned to dresses (naturally) and I found a breathtaking red dress on topshop.com, and then a stunning pair of red shoes on bloomingdales.com that would compliment the dress perfectly--and could be delivered just in time for my bday (this Friday). I got such a buzz that I ALMOST purchased without hesitation, but then I remembered I have numerous dresses with tags still hanging in my closet. So with much hesitation, I decided not to search much further for happiness through material things.
Instead I looked at old pictures of Maya and my doggy Mykonos, listened to old music, and thought lovingly of my grandparents who are no longer with me, and in doing so, I found happiness....within.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Did I conquer the Jabberwocky? Is it possible to like someone u dislike?
JABBERWOCKY
Lewis Carroll
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)`Twas brillig, and the slithy tovesDid gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Blackberries must die
;I don't have much time to write about it, but if your husband is like Ari Gold on Entourage, then you know EXACTLY what i am talking about.
i cannot tell you how many times i have tried to have conversations with my husband, only to be out voted by the blackberry, it's like his blanky he cannot live without.
i realize much of his work is through emails and if it weren't for his job, we would be out on the street, but there has to be blackberry etiquette somewhere, or someone should write a book/guideline.
Keep in mind this is all sarcasm:
One of my all time favorite blackberry moments is when I'm attempting to enjoy a romantic dinner with my husband who likes to keep his blackberry positioned on the table so he can view it all times.
At least he doesn't type emails during love making sessions, although I can't help but think that he is wondering how long it will be before he can cradle his phone again.
As a housewife struggling to write the next bestselling novel, I own an iPhone, mostly because my daughter enjoys the kids apps, but once I become a famous writer, I may have to join the annoying ranks of blackberry users.
Maybe then I will discover what the obsession is all about
i cannot tell you how many times i have tried to have conversations with my husband, only to be out voted by the blackberry, it's like his blanky he cannot live without.
i realize much of his work is through emails and if it weren't for his job, we would be out on the street, but there has to be blackberry etiquette somewhere, or someone should write a book/guideline.
Keep in mind this is all sarcasm:
One of my all time favorite blackberry moments is when I'm attempting to enjoy a romantic dinner with my husband who likes to keep his blackberry positioned on the table so he can view it all times.
At least he doesn't type emails during love making sessions, although I can't help but think that he is wondering how long it will be before he can cradle his phone again.
As a housewife struggling to write the next bestselling novel, I own an iPhone, mostly because my daughter enjoys the kids apps, but once I become a famous writer, I may have to join the annoying ranks of blackberry users.
Maybe then I will discover what the obsession is all about
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tea Pot blowing with Graham Norton
posted this over a yr ago on fb & still fascinated
you must scroll down to Graham Norton youtube video to derive the full effect
http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2009/12/15/teapot-blowing-on-bbc-ones-graham-norton-show/
you must scroll down to Graham Norton youtube video to derive the full effect
http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2009/12/15/teapot-blowing-on-bbc-ones-graham-norton-show/
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
frank blurb on my experience as a parent
After several comical responses on my fb status update on Monday, I have been thinking quite a bit about all that parenting encompasses and how it affects all aspects of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be arguing with a toddler on getting dressed, taking a bath, brushing teeth, etc..
My parents claim I was always a good and obedient child, which I am quite proud to boast, and although this cannot be placed on a resume, it's still nice to know.
I think back to my grandmothers and my lovely, yet insane cousin who has 5 children and wonder how they kept/keep their sanity.
Are children simply too spoiled today? Are we giving them too many choices and loose iboundaries, or is this the way it has been since the Stone Age?
I don't recall ever dictating to my parents what i wanted to eat, or what I wanted to do for the day. I simply followed along and ate whatever was on the table without question. Then again, my parents had the worst tempers and put the fear of God in me.
As a child, I swore never to have my child walk on eggshells around me, however there are times when I wish she would be scared of me and not make EVERYTHING a battle.
Now I find myself preparing the strangest courses consisting of mashed potatoes, chow mien, beef and broccoli, and yogurt.
My senior year in college I took a psychology course named "Marriage and Family." I only attended it because I needed the credits to graduate....believe me, marriage and family were the last things on my mind.
I read a case study on how a couple crumbled over the pressure of having a baby, and inwardly I thought, "well, it's no one's fault but their own."
I was one of those people who never cared for kids, although I did find babies cute, but kids...never. If I was on an airplane and saw a family approaching I would cringe and hope they would not sit by me, in front of me, behind me, or within the next 15 rows of me. When I received baby announcements from my friends, I would glance at the photo and immediately throw it in the trash. All horrible truths, and now I'm ashamed that I was so insensitive, but as a single person, I wasn't in the least bit moved by these crazy photo announcements, baby showers, or birthday parties.
Now when my husband and I board a plane or enter a restaurant, I see people react like I used to, and I glare at them like "Don't you dare"
Also, the strain of having an intimate relationship with my spouse is basically nonexistent because given the choice of sleep or sex, we prefer sleep. For those of you who are parents, admit it....sleep is much more wanted and needed than sex.
Despite the current drama that is occurring with my lovely 3 yr old daughter, I wouldn't change a thing, except I would have saved up since college so I could afford a 24 hr nanny service instead of spending exorbitant amounts of money on useless dresses and shoes.
My most treasured time of the day when I enjoy my daughter is at night when I look at that little angelic face...all those feelings of when she was an infant are brought back, and I fall in love tenfold. Then morning comes and the daily grind starts all over.
If you are a parent reading this and consider me a horrible person for airing my true feelings, then you are a hypocrite because I know these thoughts have crossed your mind as well.
My parents claim I was always a good and obedient child, which I am quite proud to boast, and although this cannot be placed on a resume, it's still nice to know.
I think back to my grandmothers and my lovely, yet insane cousin who has 5 children and wonder how they kept/keep their sanity.
Are children simply too spoiled today? Are we giving them too many choices and loose iboundaries, or is this the way it has been since the Stone Age?
I don't recall ever dictating to my parents what i wanted to eat, or what I wanted to do for the day. I simply followed along and ate whatever was on the table without question. Then again, my parents had the worst tempers and put the fear of God in me.
As a child, I swore never to have my child walk on eggshells around me, however there are times when I wish she would be scared of me and not make EVERYTHING a battle.
Now I find myself preparing the strangest courses consisting of mashed potatoes, chow mien, beef and broccoli, and yogurt.
My senior year in college I took a psychology course named "Marriage and Family." I only attended it because I needed the credits to graduate....believe me, marriage and family were the last things on my mind.
I read a case study on how a couple crumbled over the pressure of having a baby, and inwardly I thought, "well, it's no one's fault but their own."
I was one of those people who never cared for kids, although I did find babies cute, but kids...never. If I was on an airplane and saw a family approaching I would cringe and hope they would not sit by me, in front of me, behind me, or within the next 15 rows of me. When I received baby announcements from my friends, I would glance at the photo and immediately throw it in the trash. All horrible truths, and now I'm ashamed that I was so insensitive, but as a single person, I wasn't in the least bit moved by these crazy photo announcements, baby showers, or birthday parties.
Now when my husband and I board a plane or enter a restaurant, I see people react like I used to, and I glare at them like "Don't you dare"
Also, the strain of having an intimate relationship with my spouse is basically nonexistent because given the choice of sleep or sex, we prefer sleep. For those of you who are parents, admit it....sleep is much more wanted and needed than sex.
Despite the current drama that is occurring with my lovely 3 yr old daughter, I wouldn't change a thing, except I would have saved up since college so I could afford a 24 hr nanny service instead of spending exorbitant amounts of money on useless dresses and shoes.
My most treasured time of the day when I enjoy my daughter is at night when I look at that little angelic face...all those feelings of when she was an infant are brought back, and I fall in love tenfold. Then morning comes and the daily grind starts all over.
If you are a parent reading this and consider me a horrible person for airing my true feelings, then you are a hypocrite because I know these thoughts have crossed your mind as well.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Recession survival guide
http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2008/12/02/your-2009-recession-survival-guide.html
Friday, November 12, 2010
going back to basics
Okay, so as a fellow shopaholic, I read my friend Tatiana's Facebook status that said she was not going to buy another article of clothing or shoes for a year because she had more than she needed.
After taking a look in my closet full of unworn dresses and shoes neatly placed in their shoe bags, I decided to follow her lead.
However, I am not going to do this till after the holidays and I am curious to see how much money will be saved by Jan 2012.
I know all of us can do the same, but to each his/her own. I have found that over the years my obsession with the material things have often overtaken my better judgment and in order to make a difference I must start on working within and pay less attention to trying disguise my insecurities behind designer labels
After taking a look in my closet full of unworn dresses and shoes neatly placed in their shoe bags, I decided to follow her lead.
However, I am not going to do this till after the holidays and I am curious to see how much money will be saved by Jan 2012.
I know all of us can do the same, but to each his/her own. I have found that over the years my obsession with the material things have often overtaken my better judgment and in order to make a difference I must start on working within and pay less attention to trying disguise my insecurities behind designer labels
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